For all my loss mamas out there. I know. I know how hard today is. For some of us, it’s harder than Christmas. Suddenly, you are forced into a new year where no new memories will be made. The memories of your child grow further and further behind you. Suddenly, you aren’t able to say, “My child died this year” or “my child died last year.” What in the world do I tell people now? Suddenly, the event feels so far removed but it’s so close and has devastated you so deeply that no matter how far away you get from that actual moment it feels as though you are still right there.
Tonight, for many of us, we cling simply to hope because it’s so hard to find joy. People all around us count down to the big moment. They cheer and celebrate and hug and kiss. And I don’t wish them any differently. I’m so glad they can celebrate. I’m so glad they can be filled with this happiness. Will we ever feel the same excitement again? I don’t know. All I know is that, for me, I’m another year closer to seeing my little girl.
Whatever your situation try to be at peace. Try to rest. You will get through this night just like all the others. And you will come out with so much knowledge of the suffering that exists in this world. Use that to help others. Allow it to be a part of your witness. Happy New Year ❤