I was working full time as a cashier and stocker at a liquor store. It was the first time in four years that I had held a job for more than a few months. I was getting ready to quit my second attempt at college after having accumulated a shameful amount of debt. And, having just turned 25, I was now father to a second kid, Magdalene Thérèse. As is often the case with males
We have some exciting news to share! In 2015, the bishop of the Diocese of Phoenix, AZ, Bishop Thomas Olmstead, wrote a letter to the men of his diocese called Into the Breach. The phrase “into the breach” comes from the Bible, specifically, from the Book of the Prophet Ezekiel: “And I sought for a man among them who should build up the wall and stand in the breach before me for the land, that I
What is grief? How does it impact the person? What can you do to help a friend who is grieving? In order to help someone who is grieving, we must first attempt to understand what it means to walk in their shoes. One of my goals with this blog is to show you, with words, what grief is like. Leave behind the “I could never imagine” and begin to imagine with me for just one
As I type the title to this latest blog post it shocks me to my core and I dissolve into tears. In a million years I never would have thought that I would be advising other grieving families on their child’s gravesite. It is something I had never stopped to imagine or consider and I know that most people don’t. It’s just not a normal thing to think about. As I have walked this path
The thing about child loss is that the child never, ever leaves your mind. Every day you are reminded in a million different ways that your child is no longer here. Every day roars at you like the most intense ocean wave, "No more hugs. No more kisses. No more giggles. No more laughter. No more. No more. No more. No more..." And then a million different times a day the tide rolls in calmly with the gentlest of ocean waves and it says, "Peace. Be still. He is on the throne. You cannot understand this right now. All is well. She is safe. She is loved. She is perfectly happy. She is ok. Carry on her mission." And the weary parent drags his exhausted body up from the floor, wipes away the tears on his cheeks though they shine bright in his eyes, and he pushes forward. Ever forward.
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It was so wonderful being given the opportunity to tell our story and share Maggie on the The Catholic Bride Podcast. This is a recently launched podcast and its definitely worth subscribing to!
podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5zaW1wbGVjYXN0LmNvbS9LdmFBMExaSw&ep=14&episode=MzgwZW...
I hit "play" on the Matt Maher playlist and the very first song that comes up is Lord, I Need You. I stop where I am and allow the feelings and thoughts and emotions to come flooding through. I remember. I remember your beautiful face as you said, "Mom, whenever I sing Lord, I Need You it makes me feel so much better." I remember you crying out, "Mommy" and falling back on the bed in a seizure. I remember looking into your eyes and telling you that Jesus was with you. That mommy was there. Not to be afraid. I remember standing by your side and singing, "Lord, I need You, Oh, I need you" over and over again. I remember wishing I had the verses memorized but I kept singing knowing that the chorus would bring you courage and strength. Little did I know that I was preparing you for your last and final journey to the Great Beyond. I remember holding you and weeping as you died in my arms. I remember Lord, I Need You being sung as I birthed you into Eternal Life. Oh, I remember! And my heart aches and my eyes fill with tears and my throat burns with unspent emotion. And I remember that I could not sing this beautiful song after you died because the words would not come. And then, 6 weeks later, I had an experience with Jesus in the Eucharist and I KNEW you were there with Him which meant you were with me. And that very weekend Lord, I Need You was played during the Mass and I lifted my hands to Heaven as I wept and sang along in the very presence of Jesus Himself.
Lord, I need You.
Maggie, thank you for showing the world how to die as a Christian. As a Catholic. Let no one ever say that the Holy Spirit is not present in the Catholic Church. He moves in a mighty way and darling girl you show that every single day. Despite any who believed you were not a Christian because of your Catholicism you showed them how Christians die. With hope. With love. With joy. With peace. Jesus calls each of us through your missionary witness. I am so happy you are my daughter. I am so glad I am your mom. I am so proud of you.
Come to the altar. The Father's arms are open wide! Forgiveness was bought with the precious blood of Jesus Christ. * The faith has been passed on to you through the blood of the martyrs and the lives of little girls in hospital rooms and their grieving parents. Don't waste what God is offering you. You are called by Name. Come to the altar. Allow my daughter to show you what it means to live a faith-filled and joyful life.
*Lyrics from Matt Maher O Come to the Altar
-Maggie's Mom
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